I-statements are expressions of our thoughts, feelings, and perceptions of what is going in us. Rather than accusing our loved one of the ways they hurt us I-statements give us the occasion to let them see and experience what we are going through in the relationship. What lover wouldn’t come to the aid of someone who is hurting?

I-statements, by taking the focus off of our spouses behavior and putting it on how that behavior affects us gives them a calm  space to evaluate their actions, rather than having to defend them. I-statements also force us to remain vulnerable, to display our love even in the midst of trial.